Critique “School Children in Paris”

Updated on December 22, 2017 in Critique
13 on October 9, 2017

 

This imagine was taken with a Ricoh GR in “P” mode with the camera at my side while walking in Montmarte, 2017.

 
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2 on October 11, 2017

Hi Michael. I like this image, hence my “keep” in another thread. Also, thanks for an e-mail requesting some feedback.  What works here for me:

  1. Framing. It must have been hard to get this shot this way. Even if you cropped, I imagine you must have given this a lot of thought. I see you struggle little with the same  problem I do. I use 35mm lense on DX DSLR, so I am often having hard times putting it all into the frame. The bottom and right border of the frame, wow. The left border is the most intriquing by far. I see what you did here and I like it. The girl is pulling her friend into the picture and possibly into the darkness on the right. The only downside as I suggested is too narrow angle of view. The bag and the shoe are touching the edge of the frame.
  2. Space. You even managed to get some sky there, even a hint of a building on the left to add context (city).
  3. Shadows. Well done. I almost never get them.
  4. Shooting against the wall. I love shots against walls. The walls tell a lot about culture in the city. Sometimes I do nothing but shots against the walls.

You have been very lucky if this is not staged.

What does not work for me:

  1. Tress. I am a nature lover. When it comes to streets and photos, I can’t stand them. Nothing you can do though. If tress and branches is the only thing disturbing otherwise neat composition and motive, good for you!
  2. You might have overdone postprocessing shadows and lights. Check the diagonal wall against the sky again and possibly compare with the original raw.

That’s all I can think of. Very, very nice. Also brave to get this close to someone elses kids with a camera!

 

on October 11, 2017

Tress.

From Jakub

This should actualy read “trees”.

on October 11, 2017

Jakub,

Thank you for your feedback. I agree with what you said about post processing. I have no clue what I am doing and most of the time use my iPad for post. I don’t know how to use Lr or Ps at all (Would like to learn). My background with photography has always been point and shoot. As a kid I had 120 film and 35mm film cameras. It wasn’t until the iPhone came out that I began taking pix and “editing” them in apps. I will attach a screen shot of the original before post editing from the camera (I was shooting using built in effects B&W, RAW + JPEG) I wanted to lighten the image a little.

As for framing, I just got lucky. I was walking by holding the Ricoh at my side vertically. As I walked past the kids I pressed the shutter button. Not much thought or framing went into the image. I didn’t crop the image at all. I wanted to capture the laughter of the children, the girls seemed not to have a care in the world. Neither one of the kids knew I was taking the picture.

As for the trees, I see what you are saying there. I think the image would have been better without the branches in the shot. As well as if the backpack and child’s foot weren’t right at the edge of the image. However, there would have been no way for me to compose that shot in the moment. I believe if the girls would have seen me trying to compose the shot, the moment would have been gone. I wouldn’t have been able to capture the expression, emotion, playfulness, laughter of the moment. I also believe it would have passed. In this instance I just got lucky.

Thank you for an honest critique of my work. I am new to using a “real” camera and currently trying to learn how to shoot in M mode and post edit in Lr or Ps instead of using my iPad Pro 9.7”.

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1 on October 11, 2017

I think Jakub has given you a very thoughtful critique- wow! Such good feedback! However, I will say that the tree branches don’t bother me much- they don’t add a lot, but they don’t distract me either, with the exception of the few little branches on the left side of the left girl’s head- those are unfortunate. I like the mood here. While the girls are playing and smiling there is also a bit of a darker mood to the photo- the sky, the shadows, the overall exposure. I like that tension. Really nice shot. 

on October 11, 2017

I hann’t noticed the tree limbs to the left of the girls head until you pointed it out. I agree they are rather unfortunate. 

 

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3 on October 11, 2017

I think Jakub has given you a very thoughtful critique- wow! Such good feedback! However, I will say that the tree branches don’t bother me much- they don’t add a lot, but they don’t distract me either, with the exception of the few little branches on the left side of the left girl’s head- those are unfortunate. I like the mood here. While the girls are playing and smiling there is also a bit of a darker mood to the photo- the sky, the shadows, the overall exposure. I like that tension. Really nice shot. 

on October 11, 2017

Thanks for the critique, I appreciate it. 

 

on October 12, 2017

Interesting shot ( in my personal opinion ), good but not great. The face of the little girl needs to be lightened slightly.

 

on October 12, 2017

Thanks for the feedback dragon. 👍🏼

 

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0 on November 8, 2017

I think there’s enough going on between the two girls to keep the attention on them, only thing I would have done is put the girl on the left inside the frame.
Great photo

Http://juanortegaphotography.com

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0 on November 9, 2017

This is a really nice shot. I think the framing is really effective!

 

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1 on November 11, 2017

Hi, did you crop it ? 

I would have loved to see a wider scene, with these two girls as the main subject of course.

I like it thought 

 

on December 22, 2017

No I didn’t crop or frame the shot. It was taken with the camera at my side as I walked by the kids.

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